The Five Treasures of Inpei Kaguya

I was laying on the floor in a pile of papers. Most of it was the homework from my university classes that I was neglecting, but I was focused on the most recent additions. I had received a pile of strange, threatening letters… I had been receiving them pretty regularly, but recently, they only increased in arrival speed. What made it worse is that they weren’t blackmail or death threats, but only very vague and unsettling statements. If it was a prank, that was a very clever choice on the side of the prankster. Given the situation, I had contacted my genius former classmate, Inpei Kaguya. We were planning to meet at lunch today, in order for her to advise me on what to do about the situation. There was no active threat, but still, I didn’t want to keep dealing with these endless annoyances. I don’t know if I have enough fuel for the incinerator… Hey, why can’t my secret admirer send these letters to families who need stuff to burn to heat their houses in the winter? Surely that’d be more of a benefit to society… They all said such weird things. “I know what you’re planning.” “Don’t do it.” “Change your mind.” “Don’t carry it through.” “There will be consequences.” “I know all about it.” “I won’t let you.” And so forth. I don’t know what these mean! Like I said, too vague! Maybe there’s been a mixup of addresses and these are meant for someone else? I might never know… Oh, look at the time. I should head out to meet Kaguya for lunch.

I sat down at the quietest table in the restaurant, and then a mother with two loud, young children sat down right behind me. Is everything going to go poorly for me today? Regardless, Kaguya sat down across from me, and began eating the absurdly large burger she’d ordered. “Hey, Kaguya-chan! I need some advice here! Besides, I’m pretty sure they only sell that burger as a joke; you’re not supposed to actually eat it…” “Mmf? Oh, sorry. I was hungry. I was running around last night getting prepared for my dinner party.” She then took another bite out of the unbelievably large burger. And another. Where was it all going? I didn’t know, but she continued before I could come up with any theories. “The letters are still coming, huh? Let’s see… Bring a few of them to the party tonight, and I’ll have my older brother run a handwriting analysis on them.” “Alright… What concerns me is that every letter has different handwriting. There are hundreds, and I’m pretty sure all– or at least most– of them are from the same source. So how is all of the handwriting so different?” That was what confused me most. Who had the time to not only write so many threatening letters, but to have so many handwriting styles? Was it an organisation? Why would an entire evil organisation be targeting me? Was I secretly the prophesied heroine of light or something? Or was this a very dedicated group of middle school pranksters? “There are quite a few things that someone can do to change the appearance of their handwriting without really changing their style,” Kaguya remarked between bites. “My brother has shown me a few ways to do it, and I’m getting pretty advanced myself.” Oh, right! Inpei Honoh was an expert in handwriting. Surely he’d be able to see patterns and similarities in the letters that I couldn’t. He’d probably tell me “this is the work of three or four people at most,” or something like that. I sighed, and gave my thoughts as Kaguya was finishing up her burger. “Well, I appreciate the effort, at least. It’s classier than pasting the letters together from newspaper clippings like in an old crime drama.” “So you’re fine with threats as long as they’re classy?” “No! Well, not exactly. You know what I mean. There’s a certain romance to elegant crimes. It makes me feel like the protagonist of a mystery novel– remember that one about the locked room mystery on the international space station? It’s just like that!” “I see. Well, you know you’re bound to get caught up in mystery if you hang around the Inpei family.” “I know… You and Honoh were always solving something or another in school. It’s been a while since I’ve been to your house, though, so I’m looking forward to the dinner party.” “Yeah, I look forward to seeing you there. Anyway, I have to go back to work now. See you at the party.” At that, Kaguya stood up and walked away, having consumed the ridiculously large burger and a medium order of fries.

Later that day, as the evening approached, I set out on a walk towards Kaguya’s house. I used to live pretty close, but now that I was in university, my apartment was a decent distance from Kaguya’s house. My father’s the police chief, so we lived near the police department, where Kaguya’s brother Honnoh usually works. That’s partly why I was able to go over to Kaguya’s house so often when we were children. Now I haven’t been to her house since I moved across town. I hope I can find my way… I’m still not so familiar with this area in town. Frankly, I don’t leave my apartment much. Hopefully this dinner party will help me readjust to society. Hey, wait… It’s Rokou Makoto, walking down the street! Carrying… a bunch of grocery bags? What’s gotten into him? I ran up to him, and said hello. “Oh, Umi-chan. What brings you here?” What kind of a response is that? Isn’t he excited to see me? Also, this is a weird part of town. The only reason he’d be here is to go to Kaguya’s house… Wait, don’t tell me… “I got invited to Inpei-chan’s big fancy mansion for a dinner party. Wait, don’t tell me…” “Yep. Me too. Oh, right! You haven’t heard about me and her yet…” Him and her? What’s that supposed to mean? “You and Inpei-chan? Wait, you don’t mean!” He told me that she was his girlfriend. What, seriously? There’s no way. How could that happen? Her, of all people? Seriously? What was she thinking? What was he thinking? This was insane. How? What? I don’t understand. Calm down, Umi. Just keep your cool. “Pffah! Inpei Kaguya, your girlfriend? What kind of bet did she lose?” He didn’t respond, and I didn’t want to say anything else. I just kept giggling to avoid feeling any emotions about the situation whatsoever. I’d resolve the rest of this at the dinner party.

We made it to Kaguya’s house, and it seemed we were the last ones to arrive. Makoto gazed at the impressive wall scrolls detailing the tumultuous history of the Inpei family, until he realised there was food, at which point he ran to it instantly. Oh well. I might as well sit down too, and allow the party to begin. Figuring that I should keep an eye on Makoto lest Kaguya lead him astray, I sat down next to him. Once everyone else sat down, Kaguya announced that the dinner party had begun.

“Welcome to my dinner party!” she swung her arms wide in a dramatic gesture. “I hope you’re prepared for my amazing dinner party! And thank Honnoh for preparing all the food!” “It’s no big deal,” humbly responded Inpei Honnoh, Kaguya’s brother. “Just let me know if we need more.” “It’s delicious!” Kiseki Shikishi, a rather ditzy girl and a good friend of Kaguya’s, had already begun eating. “Thank you very much for having us,” said Makoto in an uncharacteristically polite manner. Must be trying to impress his girl. I guess he doesn’t realise his social obliviousness is what makes him cute… Just as I was thinking that, he noticed me staring at him, so I looked away. “Yes, I expect it will be a wonderful time,” continued Kaguya’s coworker Shakai Hachiko. “What gave you the idea for this party, anyway?” Good question. “I’d like to know, too,” I added. “You’re not usually one for social events.” Or talking to people at all. Which made the whole Makoto situation that much more annoying.

“Well, you know,” said Kaguya to a group of people who obviously did not, “I just thought it’d be fun.” “That’s really not like you at all…” Even Shikishi was able to pick up on something being wrong. Makoto was the next one to interject: “Yeah, you even only get dinner with me if you’re investigating something in the area.” He knows she’s using him?! And yet he’s fine with it. I guess that’s what I should expect from Makoto. I guess I’ll be the one to call Kaguya out. It’ll be a nice party favour if I can do some damage to her pride. “You always have some hidden motive, Kaguya. I don’t expect this party to be any different.” Unfortunately, that just caused her to giggle and confess. “Well, you’ve caught me!”-- if only! -- “I suppose the true point of this party is… for you all to figure out the point of this party!” “You’ve always been strange, Kaguya,” said Honnoh. “Is this whole dinner party with an unclear purpose part of your mystery novel obsession? Some allusion to Christie?” “I cannot confirm that, you know, nii-san.”

If she wasn’t going to tell me anything, I could at least get Honnoh to tell me something useful. Dad’s pretty cagey about work with me, but he tells Honnoh all sorts of things, from what I gather. “So, Inpei-kun. How’s work going?” “The Chief has been quite strange today. He sent me home the moment I got a lead on the Mondai Group.” Great. A letter had been sent to our household not long ago threatening to kidnap me if Dad kept investigating the Mondai Group. It seems it may have backfired just a little bit. “Strange. I didn’t know the police were interested in the Mondai Group. Aren’t they just a bunch of thugs?” I suppose the only pride getting hurt here was mine, though it was mostly a shot at Makoto-- who was too dense to take any damage from the attack. “That’s what I thought, too,” Hey! You weren’t supposed to agree! “until Kaguya told me otherwise,” he continued. Fair enough. At least she has some smarts. “But that let me spend the afternoon looking for Shikishi’s necklace.” Actually, the necklace was Kaguya’s, and she had only given it to Shikishi to entice her into a deeper friendship. Kaguya is a cunning woman, and Shikishi is… not.

“I hope my necklace wasn’t stolen by one of those street thugs,” mused Shikishi. Great, now it’s catching on… “The Mondai Group is a lot more than just some notorious gangsters, Shikishi,” corrected Honnoh before I had to do anything. “Are they some sort of international necklace smuggling ring?!” Honnoh was smart enough to change the subject.

“Hachiko, Kaguya, how’s work going for you two?” “Just fine!” answered Hachiko, “Only two more months of training Kaguya!” “What’s your job, anyway, Kaguya,” asked Makoto. Seriously?! He’s not even trying to get basic information from her? Talk about a one-sided relationship. Regardless, Hachiko was the one to answer. “It’s called ‘Remote Therapy’. You give people therapy and counselling through chat clients. I don’t know if I’m actually helping any of these people, though… It’s really stressful at times. But I do my best, because I want to help people! Frankly, though, I think Kaguya does an even better job than I do.” That woman is nothing if not a master of emotional manipulation, for sure. “Say, Kaguya. Why did you want to become a therapist anyway?” “Well, after dealing with so many criminals for so long, I started to feel sorry for them. So, I decided I wanted to help them!” What an eloquent liar. “Though, I will admit I have some personal motivations. I have gotten a lot of information from some clients that were part of the Mondai Group.” Those- those idiots! Traitors! Though they hold no comparison to the chief idiot and traitor sitting next to me. “Don’t tell your dad, though, Umi!” “That sounds like a crime for someone higher up than the city police.” My dad can’t even handle petty theft. Let alone… whatever this violation of privacy was classified as.

Shikishi raised an interesting point: “This Mondai Group also sounds too big for the police, but Chief Kaitou sure seems interested in them.” The girl who was just calling us street thugs! Though, I guess that was my fault… “That depends on how deep it goes,” interjected Kaguya, “If my suspicions are true, even INTERPOL could get involved.” Alright. I’ll bite. Tell me what you’re thinking, Kaguya. “Really? What makes you think that? International weapons smuggling, or something?” “There’s no evidence of that,” she admitted, “From what I can tell, the MG’s weapons are purchased domestically. It’s still plenty illegal, but not smuggling.” Then Makoto had to go and open his mouth for something other than stuffing it with food. “A black market for smuggling weapons, huh? Sure sounds interesting.” “I agree,” said Honnoh. “My pistol could use an upgrade.” Oh, right. One of the people at the table has a gun. “Don’t you work for the police?” I had to remind him. “I don’t think using smuggled weapons would look all that great. It’s a miracle they even let you keep the gun you have.” “Good point! I hope this one’s already good enough to scare the Mondai Group away from me.” If only he knew… “I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Nii-san.” There was no doubt she knew.

“Well, I’m full!” called out Shikishi, almost as a call to end the meal after the conversation slowed down. “The food was wonderful,” admitted the Salmon girl-- er, Hachiko, I should say. “I’m looking forward to an enjoyable evening.” “Me, too,” added Makoto, “I think I’ll go take a walk to clear my head.” He then kicked me unreasonably hard under the table. Come on, dude! Unlike you, I can take a hint. “Have fun, everyone!” said Kaguya. “I’ll set up some entertainment in a bit. For now, enjoy talking to one another.” “Thanks,” I said, “A walk to clear my head is just what I need.” Even Makoto should be able to pick up on that.

Unfortunately, I suppose anything Makoto can pick up on with some deep thinking, Kaguya can pick up without so much as blinking. She stood in front of me and started to talk to me while Makoto walked on out, oblivious to what was going on between us. Great. I could already tell this was going to be a fun conversation.

“So, Kaitou-chan! Did you bring any of those letters to the party, like I suggested?” “No, I forgot them.. I was in a rush to get ready…” I had several of them in my purse, but I’d rather show them to Honnoh himself. Kaguya had seen them plenty of times, and I was afraid of what she’d do if she got her hands on them unsupervised. “Oh, that’s a shame… I was hoping I could help you figure out more about them, with my brother’s forensic skills. Sort of a party favour, you know?” “That’s alright. It’s just some words. Who knows if they even really mean anything. It could all be one massive prank.” “You never know, Kaitou-chan! It’s better safe than sorry!”

I tried to walk around Kaguya to get outside, but she kept backing up in front of me. Eventually, I decided to just give up, and turn around. She didn’t follow me then, so I suspect she was trying to get some information out of Makoto. Oh well. I decided to go upstairs and see if there was a window I could peek out to listen in.

Unfortunately, all I managed to find upstairs was Kiseki Shikishi, someone who seems to be even less useful than Makoto… “Kaitou-chan!” she called. It seemed like she had something she wanted to ask me, so I walked over to her.

“What’s wrong, Shikishi-chan, right?” “That’s me! And, well, I need some help…” “Sure. What’s up?” She was Kaguya’s best friend, so I’m sure she had some information that could help me. “Well… my necklace was stolen.” Right. Honnoh had mentioned that at dinner, hadn’t he? “But Honnoh had a tracking device in it, so it seems like it’s in the house!” Great. There’s just one idiot in this house stupid enough to pull something like that. “You’re the police chief’s daughter, right? Do you know any police procedures for searching a house?” “No, sorry,” I admitted. “Dad doesn’t really tell me anything about work.” “No worries! Thanks for the help, though.”

I decided I was going to have to confront Makoto about the necklace, and hopefully get it back without anyone realising he had it at all. But before I could even leave the room, Shikishi called me back. “What is it?” “It’s about that guy you sat with at dinner.” Uh-oh. Even more bad news incoming. “His name’s Makoto. What is it?” “He looks… just like the guy who stole my necklace.” Really, now? No kidding? “...does he have a twin brother or something?” I cannot let this girl and Makoto get together. They’d be dense enough between them to create a black hole. “Huh? Really? I mean… As far as I know, he’s an only child, but I can ask him to make sure. Maybe he has a similar-looking cousin. Besides, he wears the same clothes as every other guy his age. Could have been anyone.” Well, I suppose this worked to my advantage. The fewer people who know Makoto has Kaguya’s necklace, the better. Before she had the chance to delay me any further, I went back downstairs, and found Makoto outside in the garden.

“Makoto!” It seems like I surprised him, for he was leaning over the railing of the small bridge and looking down at the fish, and nearly fell in when I said his name. “Umi! You scared me! I almost fell in!” “...Probably would have done you some good. You’re in quite a bit of danger, you know!” “Danger? Why? Kaguya just wants information, right?” “That would be the case, if I didn’t just realise what you did, you idiot!” I was letting my anger get the best of me… It’d be bad if anyone heard this, and I think that I just saw Inpei Honnoh walking past. “Wh-what’s wrong?” “According to Shikishi, someone who just so happened to look exactly like you was responsible for stealing her necklace!” “So she was the girl from this morning…” “Wait, are you admitting it? Oh no…” I still had some glimmer of hope that it was all a misunderstanding, but no. It looks like he really was that big of an idiot.

“What’s wrong? I mean, I guess I’ll have to pass it off as a similar necklace, but that should be fine. It’s not like it has a serial number or anything, right?” “Makoto, that necklace is one of a kind. The moment they so much as see it, you’re going to be in trouble. That’s the priceless necklace of the head of the Inpei family.” “Then why did Shikishi have it?!” “Probably as bait for something like this! Why did you steal it, anyway?” “I wanted to have a present to bring to Kaguya at her party…” “So you were planning to bring her her own necklace?!” “I didn’t know it was--” “Whatever. Just, shut up. And do not let a single soul know that you have that necklace. Don’t even suggest the possibility of it being anywhere near you.” What a massive liability. I don’t think even Kaguya could have predicted him doing something like this when she invited him to the dinner party. I just have to hope that if she does find out, she doesn’t blame me… Before things got any worse, I decided to head inside and go upstairs.

I ran into Shakai Hachiko, the primary party involved in last year’s salmon incident. That was all I really knew about her, but luckily, she spoke first and set the topic of conversation. “Kaitou-chan, right? Daughter of Chief Kaitou?” “That’s me. Daughter of a police chief. Or at least, that’s what people seem to say. He never really talks to me about his job.” “Kaguya’s sort of the opposite. She never talks about her personal life at work… Or, I guess that makes them kind of similar?” I laughed at the thought of my dad and Kaguya being similar. I don’t know what I would do if he was one ten-thousandth as competent as she is. “Maybe. Dad will go on and on about Honnoh sometimes, so I think I know more about him than I do about Kaguya.” “Kaguya sure is interesting! She’s awfully complicated, and a little bit scary…”

“Is that so?” The woman herself popped up behind us without a sound, and burst into our conversation. “Kaguya! There you are,” exclaimed a happy Hachiko. Kaguya responded, “I came here to let you both know that the entertainment I’ve been preparing for everyone is almost ready. Why don’t we head downstairs and we’ll get started?” “Sure, whatever you say, I guess…” Kaguya was the hostess of the party, so there wasn’t much I could do, beyond following her downstairs and sitting in the dining room with Hachiko.

While we were sitting down, Shikishi and Honnoh came into the dining room as well. I glanced back the way we had come to see if Kaguya was still behind us, but she was nowhere to be seen. Honnoh seemed pretty concerned about her presence himself. “Where’s Kaguya,” he asked, “Getting stuff for the party games?” “Who knows,” I responded, shrugging my shoulders. “I doubt anyone would be able to keep track of her, the way she is.” Say, that reminds me… “Where’s Makoto, anyway? He’s always getting into trouble somewhere or another.” “Out at the koi pond, I think,” said Shikishi. “Yeah,” corroborated Hachiko, “He’s been there all night.” “No surprise there,” I said, “He’s not great with people. Let’s let him do his thing while we sit and wait for Kaguya.”

Kaguya couldn’t resist popping in as soon as she heard her name. “Hey, everyone! I’m back! …Though, we seem to be missing someone…” “Yes,” Honnoh informed her, “Makoto has been having a rough time, so we decided to leave him alone for now.” “That just won’t do,” pouted Kaguya, “We need everyone for the party! He was out in the garden, at the koi pond, wasn’t he? Let’s all go find him.”

Following Kaguya’s orders, we squeezed through the dining room door into the garden, and rushed down the bridge over the koi pond. Makoto wasn’t there anymore, so I wasn’t paying much attention, until Hachiko leaned over the bridge’s railing and let out an ear-piercing shriek. I ran up beside her, and there in the water was Makoto-- with a trail of blood pooling out from him next to a shiny, polished knife, and the necklace gently floating atop the water on the other side of him. I’ll never forgive you for this, Kaguya!